O, Rejoice in the Lord

Living with a special needs child can be quite challenging. There are things that we deal with that no one else can understand or relate to. And then again, I realize that we are blessed; there are many who cannot have children or have children who have far worse problems than Bailey. And believe me, I am a happy mom. I love my children with all of my heart. But I do find that by sharing here I am able to get things off of my chest. Also, I really do hope to be a help to someone out there who is struggling with the same issues.

Having said all of that, I must share with you my Sunday morning. I generally get up before everyone else so I can shower, iron and pray before church. And don't you know that Satan saw me kneeling before the Lord, asking Him to forgive me, speak to my heart, be with the pastor, etc. Therefore, he immediately began causing mischief in the Wiggins household.
I get Bailey up; only she's not ready to get up. So I have to grab her by the ankles and drag her to the end of the bed so that I can then grab her under the arms like you would an infant and sit her up. She's limp....on purpose....doesn't help me at all. Once I have stood her up (& I'm out of breath) I turn to walk out the door. Two steps away, I turn around and she's standing against the wall; her face flat on the wall. "Come on Bailey, let's get dressed for church" I continue walking to the living room. And she begins her usual, "Maaa Maaaaa". This is chanted repeatedly to no avail and gets louder and louder. I finally get her to the living room.
She's already wet, so I get a pull up and wet wipes and rip the side of the pull up. As soon as she's free, she walks off to the TV (to listen to music) She refuses to come to me. I grab her arm and pull her over to me. "Step in", I tell her. She lets her body go limp again....in total rebellion. (she may not know much, but she knows defiance!) I try to lift her leg myself and she's hollering at me and trying to scratch me. It looks like a cat & dog fighting...seriously! Once again, I am out of breath.
Next comes clothes. After another bout in what seems like the WWF, she's dressed. Now the hard part (as if all the rest of this hasn't been crazy hard) brushing of the teeth and hair. While she is involved in her DVD, I slip up behind her...very quiet like...easy now...easy..........& 'pounce', like a leopard I charge! I'm in....brush quickly...get in...get out. There's toothpaste everywhere (she doesn't know how to spit) she's grabbing my hands and stomping my feet with her shoes. And of course....limp again. Oh My Soul! This child is out to get me today.
One thing left, hair. Once she has settled down and is once again into the music, I make a second approach...my freshly washed/dried hair is now damp around the edges from me sweating up a storm....ok, I can do it....and 'attack'! Here I go. Her hair is down to her butt, so it's like brushing Rapunzel's hair! She absolutely hates for her hair to be washed or brushed. The whole time I'm brushing, she's taking her hands and pulling down what I've put up. She's spitting at me, screaming, stomping my feet, going limp, & scratching. Now we're really going at it. It takes every ounce of strength to get this hair of hers in a simple ponytail.
By the time I'm done, I'm just that....done! I have let Satan get the upper hand, again. Now I'm in a bad mood, Bailey is in a bad mood...and it's gonna spread if I don't stop it soon! But jeez, I am so tired. Tired of the same fight and battle that I have fought every day for nearly eight years. Tired of being tired. Tired of always having to do everything for her. Tired of letting Satan steal my joy and giving in to him every time. It was then that I thought of the song, 'O, rejoice in the Lord, He makes no mistakes; He knoweth the end of each path that I take; and when I am tried and purified, I shall come forth as gold'. What conviction. I repented immediately for the horrible thoughts that I had had toward Bailey and not only Bailey; but toward the life that the Lord has given me.
And you know what, the Lord does forgive and renews that right spirit within me. The Lord made no mistake in creating Bailey or in placing her in the Wiggins family. Again, like I've said before...don't think that because I am a preacher's wife that I do not have heartaches, bad days, hard times....if fact, sometimes I think Satan works overtime at our house!

We've had revival services this week. Notice the wording 'revival services', not 'revival'. Why, because no one can make you have 'revival'. Revival is a personal matter and begins in the heart of a person. One person could have revival or the whole church could have revival. Our prayer was that these special services would be a way for the Lord to really speak to hearts and change hearts.
I have mentioned before that Dr. Jerry Siler of Cornerstone Baptist Temple in Dayton, OH was preaching. I have really enjoyed his preaching this week. He has such a passion for souls. His tears are real; you can see the power of God all over him. Although I have appreciated all of his preaching, to me, what really makes a good preacher/pastor is who he is when not behind the pulpit. And believe me, he is truly a man of God. He took the time to learn my children's names and show them attention, always calling each by name and spending a few moments with each. Moms notice things like that. He was sure to converse with everyone at church. I admire a man of God who is just as full of the Spirit in day to day life as he is in the pulpit.

So, every preacher's wife knows the saying "living in the fishbowl". This is so true, though. A preacher's family definitely lives in the fishbowl...everyone watching and no where to hide. Our life is on display for all to critique to judge. But that's okay with me. I'm quite used to it and it doesn't bother me at all.
So I have changed the name of my blog to 'swimmin in the fishbowl'. I want everyone to know that my life is no different than any other Christian's life is (or should be). I struggle with sin just like everyone else. I mess up. I have to repent each day for things done or not done. I have worries and do not always have trust in Christ like I should. The devil works overtime to keep me from reading my Bible and praying each day. I get aggravated, disappointed, I lose my temper, I think evil thoughts.....that's right people, I'm a normal person.
The only difference is that God has called us into the ministry. We bowed to the will of God for our lives. We surrendered to his calling. And I am grateful to be in the ministry and to serve God to the best of my ability. Is there a distinction? Sure, I believe that the Lord wants the Wiggins family to live a holy, blameless, edifying, sanctified, soul-winning, compassionate life...but you know what? He calls each Christian to live a separated life, not just the preacher and his family. Each Christian should try their hardest (through the Holy Spirit) to live a life pleasing to the Father.
Having said this, which has probably confused everyone b/c I tend to not express things very well at times, I just want to welcome everyone to my fishbowl. Come in, make yourself at home, look around!

well, i ended up in the nursery tonight b/c bailey won't sit through services. she's crackin me up tonight. don't know if you know many children in the autism spectrum, but sometimes they do the strangest things. like right now, she's standing about 6 inches from a blank wall, looking up at it....she's totally spaced out. she's glaring at that wall like there is something there only she can see. once in a while she will call out "mama" which is not to call me, but is the one word she knows best. she'll do this at home as well, but with other things....like doorknobs, the rug, a single playing card. she'll be unaware that anyone else is around....in baileyland. while she stares, she is also stimming.....flapping her arms or touching her fingers together repetitively or shaking her head or doing this crazy lip thing she does. anyway, thought i'd share yet another baileyism with all of you.

Brody's prayer

another blog friend of mine was sharing a prayer made by her little girl. so i thought i would also share the things our son prays for. we always have family devotion at 6PM. we share a Bible story and then do sword drills, maybe sing a little then each family member prays. brody always wants to go first. here's a sample of a brody prayer, "Dear Lord, please help all the people to be saved; and help me to do right things, Lord; and help us to brush our teeth; and help bailey to walk better and grow; and help shelby to grow and do the right things, Lord; and...and...and...just save us Lord" Well, it's the sweetest thing to hear, but if you know brody, then you know that all of this prayer is very animated and he puts real feeling into it. the rest of us are sitting there with bowed heads and we are giving it all we have not to laugh. he's only four, but he always makes sure to pray for the same 3 teenagers each night. i don't know why he has chosen these 3 to take on; but every night he calls them out by name and prays specifically for them. oh how that blesses my soul.....and also convicts it. i begin to think of how often i do not call certain ones out by name. what a shame. i sure do learn a lot of lessons from my children.

ok, so i just posted a pic of me with my glasses....i guess it's been so long since i've posted that i forgot that i had already done that.  

    Hi there everyone!  I know, I have totally deprived all of you of the stories of my life....j/k.  There's been so much going on lately, I hardly know where to start.   Let's see, each year our church holds a Kindred Sisters Gathering which is an all day event for just the ladies at our church.  We have devotion, testimonies, prayer time and food.  What a blessing this day was for me.  

    Then we had Bro. JC House to preach all Sunday (the 15th)  Enough said there!

    Then I also had the opportunity to visit with my mother in law and mother.  They each came in for a visit!  I really enjoy spending time with both of them.

    Then this Sunday we began revival with Dr. Jerry Siler.  He has such a huge heart.  (figuratively, of course)

    Anyway, ladies in my circle, have you ever been in service and the preaching is great, the Spirit is moving, the Lord is working and you just have this urge to stand up and shout?  I know, I'm the only one who wonders, "What would happen if I stood up with a hearty hand raised,  'AMEN BROTHER!' "  One day I just know I'm gonna forget that I am in church and just have a little fit right there in my pew!  Man, I love church.  

Donya's Specs!

 

So, Bailey is 7 and we are working on potty training. easier said than done. she does well as long as we take her about once an hour. i'll tell you what, we're going through way too many pull ups. Anyway, i put her in the tub last night....being sure to put her on the pot first. she just sits there with her big cheesy grin and does.....nothing. no poop or pee. so i feel confident that i can put her into the tub. so i fill it with lots of water and bubbles.
shelby passes by and says, i'll get in with her to keep her happy. so shelby gets in and they play for a bit. so i leave and go do some laundry. then i hear the infamous words, "Mama, bailey pooped in the tub!" Shelby goes running from that bathroom to ours and jumps in the shower.....groaning and moaning about being pooped on.
i walk into the bathroom and there sits bailey in the tub surrounded by 'floaters'....ok, i won't go into details....you all know the scene. this was cuter when she was an infant, but when you're dealing with a 7 year old autistic child who is a little chunky, it's not so cute any more.
you know, the words, "stand up" "sit down" "bend over" "lift your leg" etc. are to no effect with her. by the time i finish cleaning her and the tub, i am soaking wet, with more soap and bubbles on me than on her or the tub.
so i thought i'd share another adventure in bailey land with all of you. have a great day!

I can see

That's right people.....i got my new glasses yesterday! woo hoo. i can see again!!!! this isn't the best pic ever....ok, none of them ever are. anyway, thought i'd let everyone see my specs!

We had a ladies meeting tuesday night. we had about 25 ladies attend. AMEN!!! as i was listening to the speaker for the night i began to just think (and listen at the same time) of how great our ladies are. i looked around at the faces and thought, "I am so blessed) These ladies are ones who you can count on, depend on, trust to give devotions, trust to head up things and organize things, call on in a pinch, trust to really pray when asked. They have become my best friends. Each one has a special talent; each one is dear to me for different reasons. We have some who came in and looked so tired; i am sure that they worked hard all day, but still made it to the meeting. that says so much about them and their love for the Lord and for the church. I don't know, i could brag for hours, but i just wanted to give them a little thank you for cyber world!

Hi there everyone! Well, I have no special stories to tell today so I'll just give everyone an update with on the Wiggins crew. Well, i woke in the middle of the night with this crazy sick headache. (i never get sick, so when i even get a headache it's like the end of the world to me) it was still there when i awoke. i felt so bad that i didn't even blowdry my hair; just went to church with it wet. luckily, wednesdays are days that another dear church lady comes in to help in the school while i do office work. since she was there, i paraded on down to my husband's office and crashed on his couch. i know it sounds terrible, but i left my poor little four year old in my office (which is joined to my husband's) playing with toys. i figured if he needed help he'd either come get me or figure it out himself. so there i was out like a light, yet very much aware of what was going on around me. (I hate that kind of sleeping, it makes for crazy dreams) i even remember shelby coming in and putting a blanket over me and saying, "You just sleep" how sweet and concerned she was. so i awoke 5 hours later...still with a headache. it makes me so mad to have one. it's eased off a little now, though.

Brody- he's doing well. cut his own hair the other night.....so the following morning, he got a real haircut. he's so funny.

Bailey- goodness, i guess i have a new story to tell on her everyday. i just don't always post them for sake of it being all about her all the time. she's such a joy. the other day she realized she could make the "mmm". needless to say, she did that for over an hour and at a very high volume.

Shelby- just trucking along in her schoolwork. she's my helper & friend.

Michael- the busiest man on earth. just kidding! but you preacher's wives know what i mean. but you know what, we wouldn't have it any other way. when it's what God calls you to do (shepherd a flock) then you enjoy doing it! he's great. the best man in the world.

so that's it. update....complete; headache....still there; church tonight....can't wait; sleep tonight....AMEN!

sorry for the neglect

i love to get to the church early in the morning, log onto blogger and read NEW posts from my friends. and i get so terribly disappointed when they haven't updated their blogs lately. well, i must apologize because i have become one of those people. it's been a while since my last post. guilty, guilty, guilty. so i'm posting today....the problem is, i don't have time to do a 'real' post. but this counts, right?! hope so.