REPRINT from June 11, 2008- "You're Invited"

I have all we need: confetti, party hats, shiny streamers, a cake & metallic balloons. The occasion? Reading my other blog entry sent me into a little pity party! I know, I should not let things weigh me down, but I'll be the first to admit that although you try to serve God with all faith and joy, sometimes situations can bring you down. Yes, I know it's wrong; but I think that if I jest get all of this off my chest I'll feel better. Besides, it's not really me that I feel sorry for; it's Bailey. And honestly, I think sharing my heart will help others who have a child like Bailey.

As I was in that 'other' situation in the other blog entry, I couldn't help but notice some things. There were a couple of 2 year olds, a 3 year old, a 4 year old and that 6 year old. Bailey is the oldest one in the room. They were all playing; doing things normal kids do: playing pretend with the baby dolls, building with legos, getting up and down from the table, talking to one another, sitting down and standing up, getting on and off the car. What's wrong with this picture? Nothing, except it's all things that Bailey could not be included in because she is unable to do these things. Although she's right there with them, taking in every action & observing every detail, she's still an outsider. She can't say, "wanna play house?" or "let's play duck duck goose" (she doesn't even know what those things are) Does she even realize this? I don't know. I don't think so. She probably things she's just as normal as everyone else there. Although sometimes she does have that look on her face as if to say, I wish I could do all of that, too". It makes me so sad for her.
She's missing out on so many things...little things that we take for granted. Even right this moment, she's watching Brody put on his spiderman outfit and jump around saying "I'm Spiderman!" He's jumping around with ease, saying and doing whatever he wants with no problems. (as if she knows what I'm doing, she just came over, mouth wide open, and gave me a kiss)
Would I change her if possible? I would change the fact that she doesn't speak and I would change the fact that her motor skills are undeveloped. But I would never change the person she is. She has a wonderful personality, even if the outside world never sees it. She is appreciated, loved and wanted. So, OK, party over. Now that wasn't too bad was it? If just needed to explain some of the heartache I have from now and then. Thanks for listening!

Shelby Grace Dianne Bertha Martha.... REPRINT from May 13, 2008

I am sitting here looking at old photos, maybe 3 years worth. I found this cutie pic of Shelby Grace. She must have been 5 yo at the time. Anyway, I got to thinking about how special this kid is. her first three years were all about her...then came Bailey. her world changed drastically. All eyes were no longer focused on her, time had to be shared and attention went in a different direction.
With all of the drama that came about with Bailey, Shelby had to grow up fast. She had to assume responsibility that most young adults don't even have. She became a second mother and also took second place. Without Shelby, we would be lost. She can take care of herself, Bailey & Brody.
Even to this day, if we are out and about in town, Bailey is the first one everyone notices. She's showered with, "Oh, she's so beautiful" "What gorgeous hair" "She's just precious" and on and on. While Shelby silently watches along side, never having a word spoken to her. Bailey is always the first to get hugs, a smile, attention from strangers, compliments...the one everyone wants. And like a gracious little lady, Shelby steps aside to let her little sister have the lime light. You know, as long as I can remember, Shelby has never once complained about Bailey getting more attention than she. She is very mature for her age, always has been.
I can only believe that the Lord will greatly use Shelby and her experiences to glorify Himself through her life. Of course we don't and shouldn't require men's applause, but I do think that she deserves a little recognition for her attempt at motherhood starting at age 3! I am looking forward to what the Lord has in store for her!

You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry! REPRINT FROM June 11, 2008

I recently found myself in a weird situation. Having Bailey with us is having the out of ordinary as the norm. The strange quirks she has are daily life to everyone in our family. We are used to adults asking us about her or commenting on her limp when she walks, etc. But really, she has led a sheltered life. She’s always with people who love her and she attends a school where everyone else is just like her. But she’s almost 7 years old and we’re about to encounter her peers.
The situation was this, I was in a room with some toddlers and one 6 year old. Of course, Bailey was with me. She began her usual routine of staring at the 6 year old and following her around (her way of ‘making friends’) She would laugh at everything she did. The little just looked at her blankly. “She’s keeps staring at me!” the little girl said. “She likes you,” I responded. Then I noticed that the little girl was avoiding Bailey. She would walk to the other side of the room to get away from her or turn her back to her.
I’m sorry, but the “Hulk” inside of me began to get a little angry with this child who was treating my Bailey so awful. It’s then that I accepted that this is the reality of Bailey’s life. It is a challenge that will only become worse as she gets older and is around other ‘normal’ children. It is a fact that we have to deal with, the ‘weird’ kids are usually shunned and not very popular. That scares me to death, to think of people ever treating her badly or giving her the cold shoulder or teasing her. It is worry that any mother would have. We want our children to be accepted and have lots of friends. Although I know God is in control, I also know that that fact doesn’t mean there won’t be heartaches or sticky situations with Bailey.
Please pray for me that I won’t ever lose my temper with others who don’t know quite how to deal with Bailey. I understand that most of the reactions come from being ignorant of her condition. I don’t think that most people would want to be mean, it is usually the reaction when you don’t understand something.

The Crouton Queen

Okay, so I'm not the first to do so (but I've always wanted to) make homemade croutons. They were delicious. You see, we (the Wiggins) have decided to start eating a little better. So I bake some chicken with veggies. Then I made a salad...which Shelby hates. Anyway, I had some whole wheat rolls from the bakery and decided to try my hand at croutons. I was so pleased with myself! Everyone loved them. Anyway, I was proud of myself so I thought I'd share! I know, I'm amazed with the smallest things!

Delights Thru Disabilities - REPRINT April 2008

On traveling.....Whether in the van, restaurant, hotel, church or wherever...she is bent on showing her not so sweet side. Here's the lowdown on most of the services that Bailey attends. She does well during song service and special singing. (needless to say, she thrives on music) Then anytime there is prayer...you know...the most quiet time of a service, Bailey lets out a huge BBBUUURRRPPP!!! No big deal to her, it's just a normal bodily function....but oh how I wish I could just crawl under all of the pews and slip out the back door as if I'd never been there. But that's not all. Michael will get up to preach. Bailey doesn't understand that it's a time to be quiet. I used to always have an arsenal of things to distract her. I have a few business cards, pictures, about 1,932 (maybe not that many) pieces of Juicy Fruit (she's addicted) and little things. Well, all of that works.....for about all of 10 minutes.

So now she decides that she's not really wanting to sit in the pew, she wants to get up and walk around. AH! What am I to do? I could get up with her (from the 2nd row) but she'll scream when I grab her hand. Again, now would be a great time for disappearing cream! By the end of the service, I feel as though I've run a marathon. Bailey and I are both in bad moods.
*Back at the hotel* We're getting our PJs on. Bailey is given her meds. We get settled in. Shelby is sleeping with Bailey and does okay.
*Next night* We decide to sit on the back row; at least I'll be the only one distracted this time. And of course, it's the one night that she's falls asleep during service and causes no trouble at all.
*Later in hotel* Bailey is given her meds, we get settled in, PJs are on; but Bailey decides that she doesn't want to sleep. She's crying, Shelby's made, I'm frustrated. So the decision is made for us to play musical beds. I get into the bed with Bailey....which is what she wanted. By this night, I've had all I can take. I'm tired with the pressures of dealing with a special needs child. So here we are, lying in bed together. We are facing one another. She's so sleepy, but just can't give it up. She bats her eyes slowly, each blink showing more exhaustion. She's staring straight at me with silent, helpless eyes as if to say, "Mama, I'm sorry that I cant express what I fee., want or need in the way you'd like; I don't wish to be this way and I do the best I can."
What a humbling experience. As a parent, I realize that I'm (me and michael, actually) all she has. It's my job to 'know'. It's my job to make the special world she lives in a happy, calm and comfortable place. It's in those quiet times with her that I realize that regardless of the inconveniences her disabilities bring, I wouldn't trade her for a 'normal' child any day!

"....I'll never live in Texas again"

Never say never. Michael and I have lived in Texas once before from 1997 - 2000. We were there for seminary. We loved the people, but hated being away from home (Florida). We were in Ft. Worth and hated the chaos of the city. (We're just country folk) So, we have always said that we never left anything in Texas....in other words, we didn't plan to go back. Maybe to visit but certainly not to stay.

While an evangelist, Michael had gone out to Burnet, TX to sing for a revival. A couple of months later we get a call to fill the pulpit while that same church looked for a pastor. It was a hard decision for us. We didn't know what to do. The Lord had been slowing closing the door in evangelism, but we were unsure of what He was doing in our lives. Michael accept the 'temporary' call to fill the pulpit, but I was quick to say, "We'll stay long enough to get them back on their feet, then we're headed back to Georgia!"

On scene, we find a congregation of people who made us feel at home. It was easy stepping into the position, yet we were hesitant. It was as if we had known these people all of our lives. Loving them came easy. Michael began to just show the people love and compassion and before you know it, they had become 'our flock'. We surely didn't mean for this to happen, but the Lord did. yet we kept these feelings to ourselves. We continued to have in candidate preachers and were encouraging the church in finding a pastor quickly yet prayerfully. But with every candidate, there was something inside (yes, the Holy Spirit) saying, "This is where you need to be." Many of the people had already shown their interest for us to stay and for Michael to take the position as pastor. After 2 months, we finally said yes to the Lord and put our name in for the position as pastor. Needless to say, we were voted in unanimously.

So, we have moved back to Texas, purchased our first home and are continuing in the Lord's work at Victory Baptist Church. I couldn't be happier.

Successful Trip to the Hospital

OK, so we went to the hospital for Bailey to spend the morning in day surgery for an MRI. Background....a couple of weeks ago we took her for an MRI but was unable to get it done b/c she wouldn't go to sleep with oral medications. We tried to tell them that she doesn't go to sleep very easily, but what do we know? who do we think we are......her parents?!
So, we've been up since about 4:15 this morning. I still get so cracked up watching other people try to interact with Baily as if she's normal....even those who are suppose to be professionals and know all about her condition. In comes some young apprentice girl with a bag of 'tricks'. She wants to familiarize Bailey with whats going to be happening to her.
"Hi Bailey. Let's look at this mask. You'll have one just like it that will give you the sleepy medicine. Do you want to hold it?" Bailey grabs it and throws it down. "Maybe we can look at these pictures of other kids who have had the same procedure. See, he has his mom with him, too!" As this girl is steadfast in trying to show Bailey the pictures, Bailey is flipping all the pages and then grabs the book and guess what....throws it down. "Okay then, look at this baby doll. She has some tape on her arm. You will, too" And then there goes the baby doll onto the floor. This girl shows signs of fatigue and is on the line of polite frustration. Like a warrior, she continues handing things to Bailey and Bailey keeps throwing them down. I just sit back, say nothing and watch the show.
Anyway, everything went fine and we'll know results in a few days.

Aren't Sundays just wonderful? The Lord gave us another great time around His Word yesterday. We were blessed by new & old visitors. The pews were full, the singing was refreshing, and the preaching was tremendous! The Lord surely spoke to my heart and reminded me, "Don't worry...I see you" Just as the disciples were out on the boat and they were toiling with rowing; Jesus saw them. And even when I feel that I am toiling with rowing, Jesus sees me. There is never a time that His eyes are not on me. What a wonderful reminder!

Loving Life

I just want to take a moment to say how grateful I am to be saved! Of all the many blessings in my life, salvation is still the most amazing one. I am so thankful that God was so longsuffering to me when I was a lost preacher's wife. I was saved in 2002; after claiming salvation for about 10 years. I had gone trough the motions and had all the head knowledge; but I had never applied it all to my heart. I did that in April of 2002. What a relief! I no longer have sleepless nights and headaches from worrying! Praise God for His mercy in my life!!!
Today I am right where I want to be....a preacher's wife in a church that loves us! And we certainly love them. I am just so excited about what the future holds for Victory Baptist Church in Burnet, TX.
I am today.....just loving life!

We have really been promoting our soul winning/visitation on Thursday nights. I am so excited for this new year. I have spent much time today in prayer; asking the Lord to send us to the right homes and use our mouths to tell others of Him. I am so excited about what the Lord has in store for our church this year. Last year was a tough one for them....we are ready now to move on and see great things accomplished for our Lord!

My Beautiful Children

 

Pukin' Peaches

"Umm, Mama, Bailey's throwing up!" ---Reprint May 4, 2008

You know it’s gonna be one of those days when she wakes up but never really ‘wakes’ up. She’s laying around, falling back to sleep wherever she’s laying, whether it’s on the floor, leaning on the arm of the couch, in the hallway...literally, wherever. Something’s just not right today. And you know it’s coming, not when, but you do know that it will come. The puking, splotchy skin, the jerking, the smacking lips.

So, we proceed to get ready for church....and she’s not a happy camper. Three of the youth girls stayed the night with me and we’re all running around getting dressed. Kelly has the job of bathing Bailey and washing her hair. It’s sounds like a cat fight outside that bathroom door! She’s smacking her lips like she could hurl at any moment. I tell the girls as we’re leaving, “let’s bring a towel, Bailey will probably throw up and begin seizing soon”.

So here we go down the road, cramped up in the mini van. Half way there, the second mama, Shelby, announces, “Mama, Bailey’s throwing up!” “Quick, get the towel!!” Brittany leans up with the towel and holds it under her mouth. (Anyone who spends time with us has to be ready to take the ‘mommy’ role at any moment if Bailey is around) The youth are a little grossed out....while me, Shelby & Brody are in complete control and not stressed out a bit. How Funny!

Bailey stays with me during Sunday School, waiting until just before closing prayer to puke again, with a roar of “EEWW!” from the teenagers. I sit in the back row with her during the main worship hour. Lethargic, she mostly sleeps. On the way home, more puke. All over her, the car seat, floor, and whatever was lying in the floor. (I have found that a good 80% of my time is spent cleaning puke, pee & poo from Bailey)

All afternoon she sleeps, all splotchy, seizing here and there, no drinking or eating. Around 6:30 she wants some peaches that the others are eating. Since she’s slept most of the day and seems to be in better spirits, I give her a few bites. (Remember, she’s not puking b/c of a virus or b/c she’s sick, it comes with the seizures) Around 10 PM, it’s just me and her awake. She’s sitting beside me on the couch, without warning, peachy puke comes out like she’s Linda Blair or something! Needless to say, I spent a good 30 minutes cleaning up regurgitated peaches....Yummy! I hope I’m grossing no one out, these things are so common in our house! Don’t worry, she’s fine now. These things only last a day....she was fine the next morning.

Welcome to Blogspot....Yay Me!

So I have finally gotten my own blogspot! Woo Hoo! I am very haphazard, so I am not always so faithful to posting, but I'm gonna try. Anyway, to get things started, I am adding a few posts from a blog that I had about 6 months ago. You can kinda get to know me by reading these. So, enjoy!