well, it is sunday morning.  church day, woohoo!  so how have i begun my day?  just like any other, with prayer.  especially on sundays.  how do i pray?  glad you asked....

first i thank God for His many (undeserved) blessings and the mercy He has shown to me; for saving me; for loving me; for Who and What He is, etc.

i repent.  i ask Him to search every crevice of my heart until I find no more to repent of.  then i even ask Him to forgive me for anything i am not aware of.  i ask Him to convict me, to reveal sin.

i pray for my husband who is also my pastor.  i ask God to bring strong convition upon his heart in order to make sure he is ready to preach.  i ask God to help michael repent of any and all sin...to be a clean and empty vessel that God can use.  i ask God to be with michael as he preaches.  i ask Him to fill him with joy and love and compassion, yet with boldness!  i ask for liberty as he preaches. 

i pray for the congregation.  i begin naming names:  people who have quit coming, those who are slacking, the backslidden, the lost, the bitter, the wordly.  i ask that there be no distractions during the service that would hinder them from receiving the Word.  i ask that hearts are soft even before coming to church.  i ask that we see new faces in our services.  i ask that the Lord save a soul.  i pray for the Holy Spirit to be evident in our services.

i pray for every aspect of services:  sunday school, childrens church, nursery workers, congregational singing, special singing, offering, preaching.

in Jesus' name, Amen.

now all i have to do is have faith that God can, will and wants to do all of those things!  harder than it sounds.  but im just crazy enough to believe that God will do something miraculous among us at VBC today!

so i commented earlier about the kiddos in my ss class.....well tonight our song leader taught the church a little chorus and it happened to be one of the ones that the kiddos sing.  as he was teaching everyone, all i could hear was their voices, they were singing it so loud and it was precious.

i'll say yes, Lord, yes to Your will and to Your way
i'll say yes, Lord, yes. I will trust You and obey
when Your Spirit speaks to me
with my whole heart i'll agree
and my answer will be yes, Lord, yes.

well, over everyone else, all i could hear were the kids.  my heart was broken.  as i heard them singing, i realized how far i was from that...that's right, the preacher's wife!  trusting Christ can be so difficult at times.  i try to fix things myself, which always fails.  and when the Spirit speaks to me, i do not always yield.  my heart melted and conviction set in.  i made my way straight to the altar.  i had to repent. 

im not the emotional type, so if i ever get a bit upset about one thing...all of the other burdens seem to creep up on me too.  and that's what happened.  i began to think of people who i have a strong burden for.  i began to realize that i'm harboring some bitterness towards certain people/things.  i thought of how self righteous i can be.  all i could do was cry.  couldn't even pray.  i am so thankful that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me during these times.

it felt good to be convicted.  i know, that sounds strange, but it reminds me that i have a heavenly Father who loves me enough to chasten me!

really enjoyed church this morning.  i teach the toddler class, 2-4 year olds.  they are such a hoot.  each one of them is special and important to God and to me.  i have several who come in every Sunday with a song in their heart....literally.  one girl comes in and i know that she has been listening to good gospel music.  she immediately begins singing the little kid bible songs....loud and proud, may i add!  the others in her family join in and pretty soon there's a choir of little singers, "Jesus loves me", "Zaccheus", "Obedience", etc.  then i have another little girl who hums the entire sunday school hour.  she isn't disruptive at all, just an almost silent hum of hymns and bible songs.  what joy fills my heart to hear all of that.  i have a few bus kids in there, too, who i hope someday will have these same songs in their hearts.

if only the adults were the same way.  but instead, i believe the adults bring to church with them the weight of sin from the past week, the burdens of life, and much doubt.  adults can be so apethetic.  how sad.  we began revival today.  i know that no man can bring revival.  revival is a state in each believer's heart.  but i sure do hope that this week God gets a hold on to my heart and 'set my soul afire'.

hey everyone, dont forget bout my other blog......forbaileyssake.blogspot.com!

tonite we spent an evening with a family in the church....we sure enjoyed wholesome fellowship with them.  they were an encouragement and blessing to us.  our church is full of those who encourage and uplift us.  i am so thankful for such a caring church family.

revival services begin sunday.  i am excited.  i know that God wants to do great things during this time, my prayer is that sinners get saved, christians sale out whole heartedly, backsliders repent, and people find their first love again!  i believe that God has great plans for our church and i am anxiously waiting on Him to make His presence evident in our services!

we had a wonderful service yesterday at church.  we had one of michael's fave preachers in....bro jonathon stewart.  he is the assistant pastor at victory baptist in wetherford tx.  he was one of our professors in seminary.  it was such a blessing to hear him preach last nite.  there are those preachers who bring the Bible to life.  he is one of those men.  he preaches with a sparkle in his eye, like it's his first time to tell the story.  he gives vivid detail describing each verse....you feel as if you are in the Bible story. 

i am partial, but i feel is one of the most knowledgable men of the Word.  i really did enjoy having him and his dear wife, lara, in our services.

i am happy today.  i have my parents here with me.  we are gonna have a family day, maybe go bowling.  valentines day was great.  michael sent me flowers.  now, im not a big flower gal, but thats ok.  it showed that he cared enough to think of me and gave me a super sweet card with it.  i love him so much and am so thankful for a godly husband.  he means the world to me!

i have two special unspoken prayer requests for those of you who would pray.  i have two serious burdens on my heart right now.  i know that God is in control.  but having a band of prayer warriors never hurts!

so today, i love the Lord...i am thankful for His mercy, His abundant grace, and His unconditional love to me!   i am thankful for another day to try to serve Him with pure motive.  i am thankful for the faithful members of victory baptist church; for a church who loves their pastor and his family; for a church that loves to serve and give.  i truly am blessed!

i have been blessed

God is so very good to me.  i am sure that by now everyone has heard the song, "i have been blessed".  you can find it everywhere on youtube.  i am a fan, that's for sure!  every time michael hears it, he gets all teary....it's his fave.  i love it, too.  how amazing that God has blessed us all so abundantly.  i certainly am undeserving of any shred of  grace and mercy, yet every day He loads my pail with blessings.  i have just been thinking about how Christ loves and cares for me even when i do not love and care for Him as i should.  shelby and michael are gonna attempt to sing it sunday nite.  i hope it goes well.  anyway, just thought i'd share with ya.  im jottin down the lyrics, just in case you haven't heard it yet.  i may even try to video them singing it 2moro nite....we'll see!

When He moves among us, all that He does

All of His mercy and all of His love
If the pen of the writer could write every day
Even this world could never contain, how I’ve been blessed.

Warmth in the winter, flowers in spring
Laughter of summer, the changing of leaves
Food on my table, a good place to sleep
Clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
I have been blessed

I have been blessed, God’s so good to me
Precious are His thoughts of you and me
No way I can count them, there’s not enough time
So I’ll just thank Him for being to kind
God has been good, so good
I have been blessed.

Arms that will raise, a voice that will talk
Hands that can touch, legs that can walk
Ears that can listen, eyes that can see
I’ve got to praise Him as long as I breathe
I have been blessed.

A mother and father, nurtured and raised
Sisters and brothers, memories made
Our pastor to lead us, this altar to pray
Stripes that can heal, the blood that still saves.
I have been blessed.

We live in a country, the greatest on earth
That flag stands for freedom and what it is worth
She stands in the harbor, Miss Liberty calls
All have given some, but some gave it all
So we can be blessed.

He’s my shoulder to lean on when I am down
The rock where He leads me when I’m overwhelmed
The place where He hides me under His wings
He’s not just a song, He’s the reason I sing
I have been blessed.

i have some extra time on my hands tonight....michael is in fort worth for a quick get away!  he really needed it.  he is spending a couple of days with two of his best friends.  i am glad that he has other men in the ministry who he can confide in and relax around.  they are always encouraging to him.  i appreciate these men of God very much.

anyway,  just gonna share what is on my heart....theres a lot!  most of you who follow know that i am the wife of a preacher, a pastor specifically.  i am so honored to say that!  i love the ministry and i love serving in the church.  i would rather be no where else!  i believe strongly that just because i am a preacher's wife i am not automatically blessed with an easier path or a more direct line to the Savior.  i am, in fact, sure that many times, the life in the ministry can be quite trying and tiresome.  i feel that i fail in so many ways...in fact, i know that i do.  now im not gonna go to confessing all sorts of things, but i will say that i am not the pastor's wife that i should be.  i find myself becoming a martha many times; serving, serving, serving without worshipping.  my motives at times are absolutely wrong.  my attitude can be a little on the stinky side and i will just go ahead and say it, i get aggrivated so easy at times.  there, i said it, i am human; i am a sinner; i am just like every other person.  satan hates me and wants me to fail so that i influence my husband and he in turn fails.

i feel like paul a lot of the time.  i find myself not doing the things that i KNOW i should be doing.  whether its not studying the Word of God as i should, or telling others about Christ like i should, or praying fervently, or being a good example...whatever the case, i seem to fall short of doing the right things.  on the other hand, i seem to do the things i shouldn't.  i become easily provoked, i get my feelings hurt, i lash out at my children, i get snappy with my husband, i hurt those closest to me with my attitude. 

situations come into play that can become discouraging.  scenarios take place that seem so damaging.  it is easy in these times to become backslidden.....that's right, a preacher's wife can become backslidden...cold...indifferent...right there on the front row (or 2nd in my case)  i certainly dont want that.  i want to be the example and leader that God wants me to be.  i want to serve with joy because God allows me to.  my focus seems to have shifted somewhere along the way.  i have prayed and sought God's forgiveness concerning these things. 

i am so thankful, tho, that my Lord always forgives and gives me yet again another chance.  He is so mericful to me, withholding judgment many times; and very gracious, allowing me benefits i certainly do not deserve.

the Christian life is the greatest thing in the world!  but honestly, i think that it can be the hardest thing in the world.  when in the ministry, things are seen with a different light.  burdens are different and loads sometimes seem unbearable.  becoming overwhelmed is very a very easy thing to do.  realizing that people look to us (the pastor and his wife) to be the advice givers, the prayer warriors, the problem solvers....well, it can get scary.  the weight and pressure felt by my husband must be quite heavy at times, although i am probably unaware of half of the things that he 'shields' me from.  (preposition at end of sentence! EEEEK)  michael is a wonderful pastor.  his heart is big and he loves the people with every last beat of his heart.  pastors are such special people.  i don't just say that because my husband is one.  ive always had a special place in my heart for pastors.  these men of God give their lives to God to be used to nourish the flock, to be the undershepherd.  shepherding is strenous and time comsuming.  i am so thankful to God that he has given me a husband who loves Christ and just simply wants to serve Him.  i am honored to be his wife.  i am happy to serve alongside him.  we love our church greatly.  our hearts desire is to see them grow spiritually.  we want the best for these, the flock God has given to us.

we love you victory baptist church.  we love serving you, we love being there for you, we love praying for you, we love fellowshipping with you!